The cis (white) male gaze reigns supreme even in our “alternative” LGBTQ spaces, which can render perspectives of other members of the community invisible. The reality is, even within the LGBTQ community, there’s still a hierarchy of power that replicates what we’ve all been forced to learn by our heteronormative, patriarchal society. I’ve gone out with gay male friends to a gay bar and been seen as a “fag hag,” a hanger-on in a space and community that I actually occupy. While my sexuality has been negated in many straight spaces, it has gone unrecognized in queer spaces as well. Would Gaga have become a superstar if the gays hadn’t adopted her early in her career and in turn, been adopted by her during the Born This Way era? Would Kylie Minogue have had a late career comeback without the enthusiasm of gay male audiences? Could Madonna have the staying power she’s had without the gay male community, who have both supported and been appropriated by her for her entire career? The power of the cis gay male audience cannot be discounted, but it’s hard not to wonder why they are so often identified as the driving force behind the success of pop queens when the fact is, queer women and others in the LGBTQ community show just as much love and support for these stars, too. For many gay men, there is recognition with these pop stars through shared experiences, like being broken down and then building yourself back up, something that most members of the LGBTQ community know all too well.īut, unlike my experience as a lesbian pop fan, the relationship between cis gay men and female pop stars is so widely recognized that gay men are frequently credited as the reason behind a female pop star’s rise to fame or even their return to the limelight. Typically, the stars adopted by the cis gay male community are those who embody resilience, reinvention, and a connection to the experience of being marginalized i.e. My experience as a lesbian is typified by invisibility, and for many queer women, this feeling of being unseen or even erased by others is par for the course.Ĭonversely, the relationship between cis gay men and gay icons like Madonna, Whitney, and Britney is also one of being seen. Female homoeroticism and homosexuality are frequently erased regardless of implicit or explicit public expressions I’ve fully made out with my girlfriend in a straight space and still been asked if she’s my sister or best friend.
Our society encourages and normalizes female homosociality everywhere, whether the spaces are queer or not - “gal pal” relationships are accepted and expected, even as the truly sexual or romantic implications of these expressions are still not taken seriously.
The visibility of these female pop stars can be a canvas of desire for queer female audiences because female desire is so often rendered invisible. Wait!!! Missed you, Vegas!Ī post shared by Britney Spears on at 9:21am PDT So, that moment of being acknowledged by one of my idols was a confirmation that not only was I noticeable, but that I was actually worth seeing, a feeling that I struggled to hold onto as I continued to feel unseen both as a closeted lesbian, and, eventually, while living openly as a lesbian. I internalized that feeling of invisibility as a corresponding sense of worthlessness. I f*cking waved to her and she looked at me and blew me a kiss, which is sort of weird but she was also staring at me, I think she was looking at my Depeche Mode shirt and I felt awkward and looked away BUT SHAKIRA acknowledged me.”Īs a teenager, I felt like a shadow, hidden behind my friends who were more feminine, prettier, skinnier, and ultimately, more seen than I was. That night, my journal entry is five pages of huge letters, many underlines, and uncontained excitement:
I scheme how to get Shakira to notice me and settle on screaming “Depeche Mode!” (her favorite band). I’m sitting five feet away from Shakira, trying not to scream. I’m 15-years-old, it’s 2002, and I’m at Last Call With Carson Daly. London calling! Can’t wait to see you tomorrow… ShakĪ post shared by Shakira on at 12:16pm PDT